This bill that just passed the Michigan House Judiciary Committee (Read Details Here) could have far-reaching consequences everywhere. While it is agreed that both parents are important in a child’s life, the reason we have Family Law is to ensure what is best for the children is examined on a case by case basis. This new bill takes that away from the courts and creates a blanket requirement barring extreme circumstances that at times can be difficult to prove.
In my experience Family Court is not required when both parents are putting a child’s needs and wellbeing above their own. Mediation can be used to draft an order to be followed. Unfortunately that is rarely the case in today’s society. Also true is the fact that just as many women are shirking their parental responsibilities as men. The Judaical bias of women being given primary custody is quickly becoming a thing of the past as Judges are seeing daily the documented proof of which parent is for the child above themselves and will encourage a relationship with the other parent.
Joint custody is best in theory, in practice not so much. Usually one parent becomes the manager for lack of a better term. They are the ones who schedule childcare, handle school enrollment and functions, doctor’s and dental appointments. All of the “business” parts of raising a child. That is not to say the other parent is not willing to, but generally one person handles these things even when couples are together. When the parents separate it becomes more pronounced. Then there is the issue of consistency, especially during school. Most divorced or separated couples do not reside in the same neighborhood, city, or even county. That means in a 50/50 custody time a child will be forced to commute in upwards of an hour each way with todays traffic issues. So if a child is in care from 8am until 6pm, then add another hour and a half commute (at least) daily, how is there enough time for sleep, dinner, sports, or even quality time with the parent? Then there is trying to have the same rules and/or routines between both houses.
This ruling included an 80 mile ruling for moving. In today’s business world people are being asked to relocate as a condition of their job or in search of better opportunities. Again, it is best if both parents are involved in the child’s life, but the 80 mile rule does not address anything realistically. For 50/50 physical custody to be feasible there would have to be a blanketed rule to include parents live within the same neighborhood or within a 20 minute drive of each other during rush hour. Could you imagine the fighting and arguing about who has to move and the cost associated with that? If one parent lives in a better school district resulting in higher cost of living, and the other parent lives in a neighborhood because it’s all they can afford, how do you make this happen?
The likelihood that this ruling will continue on or spread is minimal in my opinion. However stranger things have happened. This is, after all legislations, lawmakers, and not necessarily the people intimately involved in these cases. The State Representative cited studies about joint parenting being beneficial. Again, there are few who would disagree on that point as a whole. However when dealing with separated couples it becomes a different world. This same representative stated, “We looked at county by county statistics on what happens in custody situations and what we found out is that the custody arrangements are not determined by the kind of parent that you are, but the judge in the county,”. That suggests the issue is not with one parent having more custody than the other, but with the way the Judges are looking at each case. Again, I agree with his statement, but not what he is doing with the issues.
There needs to be a reform and how the family dynamic is being judged for family court. When it comes to child support there are clear and concise guidelines in place to determine the outcome. When it comes to custody, there is not. We all wish 50/50 time was possible, but it is not. We all wish both parents who presumably created a child, another life out of love would put that child above themselves, but that is not the case. Judges and Masters in Family Law have an extremely important job that affects not only the family they are dealing with, but the next generation. However day in and day out they have to listen to two people who once loved each other hurl angry statements and accusations at eachother.
Anyone in Family Law will tell you there needs to be reform, but this or any other blanket is not it and can have devastating consequences for our children.
Below are some examples of 50/50 custody time. Now imagine you had to commute 45 minutes each way to one of these. If you had to live in 2 different homes/lives based on this schedule, how would you feel or function? How can we expect a child to be happy, healthy, or learning under these conditios when we as adults could not?
Gordon S. Brown Esq. 